How to Give Advice That People Actually Want to Follow.

How to Give Advice That People Actually Want to Follow. 

Why People Resist Advice

Have you ever given someone advice, only to have them ignore it—or worse, resist it? You’re not alone. Most people don’t like receiving advice because:  

- It challenges their autonomy – No one likes being told what to do.  

- It feels like judgment – Advice can sometimes come across as criticism.  

- They want to own their solutions  – People value ideas they discover themselves more than those handed to them.  

So, how do you offer guidance in a way that people actually listen, appreciate, and act on?  

The Right Way to Give Advice

1. Ask First, Don’t Assume 

Before giving advice, let them explore their own thoughts by asking:  

♦️“Have you thought about how you might handle this?”*  

♦️“What’s your plan to move forward?”*  

This signals that you respect their intelligence and believe in their ability to find solutions. It also encourages them to take ownership of their choices.

2.♦️ Plant the Seed Instead of Pushing a Solution 

If they don’t have a clear answer, don’t rush in with your solution. Instead, ask guiding questions to help them think in the right direction.  

For example, instead of saying “You should speak up more in meetings,” try:  

🔴“How do you feel about your presence in meetings?”  

🔴“What do you think would make your voice heard more?”  

When they come to a realization themselves, they’re more likely to act on it.  

♨️3. Ask If They Want Your Perspective  

Before offering advice, ask for permission:  

🍓“Would you like my thoughts on this?”  

This protects your time and ensures they are open to listening. If they say yes, they’re mentally prepared to hear your advice, making it more effective.  

🔴4. Use "I" Language & Share Personal Stories

Instead of saying “You should do this…”, try sharing your experience:  

🔴“When I faced a similar challenge, I found that…” 

This makes your advice feel relatable rather than directive. People connect more with stories than instructions.  

Case Study: Advice That Works 

A client of mine was struggling with confidence in leadership meetings. Instead of telling her exactly what to do, I asked:  

"What do you think is missing in your communication?" 

She realized that she wasn’t asserting herself enough. From there, I shared my personal experience of overcoming the same challenge. By the end of our conversation, she came up with her own action plan—one she fully owned and was excited to implement.  

Final Takeaway  

People don’t resist advice because they don’t need help; they resist it because they want to feel in control of their decisions. If you want your advice to be heard and acted upon:  

🔶 Let them think first.  

🔶 Guide with questions.  

🔶 Ask if they want your input.  

🔶 Share stories, not commands.  

By shifting from “telling” to “guiding,” your advice will not only be well-received but also impactful.  

What’s your experience? Have you ever given advice that backfired? Let’s discuss in the comments!