It's Not What You Said—It's How You Made Them Feel

🌍It's Not What You Said—It's How You Made Them Feel

Why Great Leaders Obsess Over Tone, Not Just Words.

🔹“They may forget what you said—but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

🔹 The Invisible Skill That Builds (or Breaks) Trust

You can read all the leadership books in the world.

You can memorize all the perfect scripts.

But if your tone is off, your message falls flat—or worse, it backfires.

In today’s fast-moving business world, tone is the invisible handshake that happens before your actual message is even heard.

Let’s look at the science:

📊 A UCLA study found:

🔹87%of how we interpret someone’s message comes from tone and body language.

🔹Only 13% comes from the actual words

That means the same sentence can be received as either a compliment or a criticism—purely based on how you say it.

🔷 Case in Point: A Tale of Two Tones

A senior manager enters a room and spots a report on the table.

He glances up and says:

“Oh… YOU made the report?”😐

The room goes silent. Doubt and sarcasm fill the air.

Same situation, same words. But this time, he says with a smile:

🔹“YOU made the report!”

Pride. Encouragement. Instant motivation.

One phrase. Two tones. Two entirely different outcomes.

This is not just about being “polite.”

This is about creating environments of trust, clarity, and confidence—the actual levers of performance and loyalty.

🔷 Tone in Leadership: A Daily Test

Want to know how emotionally intelligent a leader is?

Watch how they deliver the following:

🔹Feedback

🔹Appreciation

🔹Accountability

🔹Disagreements

A great leader doesn’t just “say the right things.”

They use tone to connect and empower, not intimidate or confuse.

Here’s a timeless guide worth sticking on your office wall:

🔷Words of Leadership Wisdom:

🔹 “I admit I made a mistake.” (6 words – humility)

🔹 “You did a good job.” (5 words – recognition)

🔹 “What is your opinion?” (4 words – inclusion)

🔹“Can I help?” (3 words – support)

 “Thank you.” (2 words – gratitude)

 “I.” (1 word – the least important one)

- Michael varadi

Tone turns these phrases from statements into experiences.

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🔷 Why This Matters More Than Ever

In the hybrid workplace and digital age, we’re relying heavily on texts, emails, Zoom calls, and voice notes.

Your tone has now become your brand.

🔹 Tone sets the tone—literally—for teamwork, deals, and client relationships.

🔹 A thoughtful pause, a gentle word, or a warm smile can diffuse tension faster than a dozen “perfect” sentences.

🔹 A sharp tone can undo months of goodwill.

🔷 Reflection for Real Growth:

🔹Think back—when was the last time someone’s tone:

🔹 Made you feel seen, valued, or inspired?

🔹 Made you feel belittled, dismissed, or judged?

And more importantly:

When was the last time you used tone as a leadership tool?

 📝 Final Thought:

Great leaders don’t just speak.

They tune in to tone.

Because that’s what leaves a legacy—not just good conversations, but good connections.

Now your turn:

Drop a story in the comments—

When did someone’s tone completely shift how you felt about a situation?

Your insight could change how someone leads tomorrow.